00:00 Introduction to Session Etiquette
01:27 The Essence of an Irish Music Session
02:54 Personal Experiences in Sessions
06:00 Memorable Moments in Music
08:19 Navigating Awkward Situations
09:55 Handling Etiquette Breaches
11:44 The Importance of Kind Communication
14:17 The Fleeting Nature of Musical Moments
16:31 The Role of Humility in Music
19:02 The Joy of Playing Together
20:35 The Experience of Traveling Musicians
23:26 Building Community in Sessions
25:43 Engaging Newcomers in Music
28:29 The Dynamics of Starting Tunes
30:40 Recording Sessions: Pros and Cons
32:23 Nostalgia and Shared Memories
34:57 Creating Inclusive Musical Spaces
37:34 Balancing Professionalism and Passion
40:36 Resources for Learning Irish Music
43:13 Advice for Newcomers
45:46 Guidance for Experienced Musicians
47:52 Self-Awareness in Sessions
49:41 Closing Thoughts and Reflections
Conversational Transcript
*[This is an edited conversational transcript, lightly shaped for readability while keeping the spirit of the original conversation]
What does an Irish music session mean?
Tara:
The topic of this podcast is perspectives on session etiquette in Irish music. So to you, what does an Irish music session mean?
Shannon:
It is a gathering. It is a social event, and it centres around music.
That is very handy for the shy person, because there is a built-in thing to do. And for the person who likes to talk a lot or command attention, it focuses us on the collective thing.
It is the great activity of the party.
If you played chess, or if you ran, maybe you would gather together to do that thing. But at the end of the day, it is the gathering together.
So it really is a social event for people who love this music. Even the newest practitioner has usually already invested time learning tunes and learning how to play them.
It is people who are mad for the music. It is a celebration of the music. It is centred on the music. It is about the music.
But it is a social gathering about the music.
It is not a concert.
Tara:
I love your analogies, by the way. Even in your podcast, you make such good analogies. When you said that, I thought, I must write that down.
Shannon:
You did. I saw your pen.
Embarrassment, blunders and caring less over time
Tara:
We have all had negative and positive experiences in sessions. Do any stand out for you?
Shannon:
The fun thing about going to lots and lots of sessions is that, in the end, the experiential continuum becomes a little less extreme.
It becomes less about, “That was the top of the world,” or, “That was the pits.”
I do remember embarrassing moments where I went to change into a tune and did not play well. I felt desperate about it.
Tara:
Would you feel bad about that?
Shannon:
There was a time when I really did.
I thought my involvement in the session was more important than maybe it is. Nothing against me or my love for this music, but no matter how well I play, or how poorly I might play or act, this music is much bigger than I am.
It will be fine with or without my blunders.
Tara:
That is funny, because I frequently go to go into a tune and then it is gone.
Shannon:
I did not always feel like that was funny or easy. I felt bad about it. I felt embarrassed.
It is like going to a party and putting your foot in your mouth.
As time goes on, I care less and less. The more good experiences I have had, and the more ordinary or not-great personal moments I have had, each one matters less.
It becomes more about the big scheme of things. Keep showing up. Keep meeting people. Keep connecting with people through the music. Keep learning new tunes. Sometimes play badly. Sometimes play well.
The passage of time and experience really help.
Fancy sessions and small ordinary sessions
Shannon:
If you had asked me twenty years ago about a great session, I probably would have named all the fancy names.
Maybe one great session was with this band and that band, and everyone met up and it was full of mad players. Somebody sang a song and the whole bar went quiet. That was epic.
But now, playing a wonderful session with my husband Matt, who is a lovely guitar player, can also be a high point.
One time somebody gave him a banjo. There was a brand new twelve-year-old fiddle player, a friend who plays Scottish music on the fiddle, Matt on banjo and me.
That was the session.
And it was almost as good as the fancy session with famous people.
It was such a lovely night of music. We did not have tons in common, but what we did have, we tried to play well together.
So those are real session highs for me too.
The famous Irish musician session is wonderful. But four random people on second instruments can also be a real highlight.
When people are unkind in sessions
Shannon:
Low points are usually when people have been rude, or when I have seen other people mistreated.
Those are real lows.
It is tough to be in a social environment where people are not being kind.
There can be all sorts of reasons for that. Sometimes drink. Sometimes maybe good intentions, wanting to protect the music or protect a beautiful session. But the way people deal with it can be rough.
Those are awful session experiences because they are awful social experiences.
Tara:
I think it is a lot to do with the social side of things and age as well. As I get older, I think, “That is fine. It is not that important anymore.”
Shannon:
The thing that is more important now is that I really love this music and I love the chance to play it with other people.
You do not always get the perfect alchemy of players and mood. So when you have something that is lovely and then somebody comes in who is really not locking in, that can be frustrating.
You feel like, “I am treasuring this moment.”
It is not no big deal. It can feel like a bummer that it is suddenly being affected.
Ignoring it, seething and feeling cheated
Tara:
You mentioned in one of your podcast episodes, the Bunch of Keys episode, something about awkward behaviour and players ignoring it, seething and feeling cheated on what could have been a nice night of music.
I thought, that is so true. We sit there thinking, “I wish this was not happening, because it was lovely before this.”
Shannon:
Yes.
Sometimes someone speaks up. Sometimes the person who speaks up does it with kindness and grace, and it makes the situation better. Or at least it feels a little cathartic because you tried.
Sometimes the person who speaks up is very pointed and embarrasses the other person and discourages them.
Maybe if the person came in with really boorish behaviour, discouraging them is not ultimately the worst thing. Maybe it is for the good of the hive.
Tara:
I thought you said boring. I was thinking, boring is probably not the worst breach of etiquette.
Shannon:
No, boorish. Like a boar coming in with strong boorish behaviour.
Tara:
That is hilarious. Lost in translation across the Atlantic.
How to say the difficult thing gracefully
Tara:
You said people can sometimes deal with things with grace. That is hard. Do you have any advice for that?
Shannon:
I have seen people do it really well, and I try to channel them.
There is the idea of a compliment sandwich. Really, it should be called a criticism sandwich, because the criticism is in the middle.
Say something kind. Then say the honest thing. Then finish with something kind.
For example: “It is great you are coming in. Could you just check your tuning on that fiddle? I find it hard to get this flute in tune too. I am so glad there are apps that can help us.”
It is also wonderful if you can pull the person aside, so you are not saying something about their playing in front of everybody.
You might say, “Hey brother, I am really glad you are here. By the way, typically the way this session works is that we only play the tune if we really know it. If you do not know it yet, maybe listen, or record a tune and go home and learn it. Then come back and we will play it together.”
That would be an elegant thing to say on the side.
It is scary, because you do not want to hurt someone’s feelings. You do not want to be the bad cop.
But if you are able to say it, and if the person is able to receive it, that is a real win.
It is a risk.
Tara:
It is a risk. But if there is a nice sandwich around it, you are not saying, “You are just so bad.”
That is not what anyone wants to say.
Regret, exhaustion and the difficult end of a festival
Shannon:
Have you ever said something you regret?
Tara:
Yes. I think this is the reason I am doing this podcast. To make up for it.
I usually try to be as nice as possible. One of the things I grew up with is that you always give somebody dignity and respect. I do try to do that.
But there was one occasion where I did not. It was day ten of Miltown Malbay, the Willie Clancy week, and I lit on somebody.
I regret it.
I got criticism for doing it, not from the musicians, but from other people watching the session. They said it was not appropriate.
And they were right.
Another time, I tried to be as nice as possible. This person had played and sung, and it was actually really nice, but they were very drunk. Then they started playing along with us, and the chords were not landing on beats. They were just random.
I tried to be nice. I said, “Your guitar playing is amazing and the singing was beautiful. I am wondering, are our rhythms working well together? Maybe they are not working great together.”
He got up and the fist was coming towards my face.
Shannon:
That is too bad.
Tara:
I was lucky there were three other guys beside him and they lifted him out.
But there was alcohol involved. It was during a big festival, at the end of it. Everybody was exhausted and sleep deprived.
Shannon:
These are social events. They are events in public spaces with drink.
At the end of the day, it all comes from wanting to make something special. Wanting to participate. Wanting to safeguard, curate or host a special event for the most amount of people.
Sometimes that does involve asking the one disruptive element to step aside, which is scary and risky.
Sometimes you think, “It is one night. It is not worth it.”
But that is too bad too.
The session is intoxicating
Tara:
Music can be a bit like a drug. It is intoxicating. You are looking for that first hit again.
You will never get that first feeling again, when you were sixteen and thought, “I could do this. I love this.”
Shannon:
It does come in moments, and you can be surprised.
You are sitting there, playing, and suddenly it is coming together. You feel gratitude for being able to play it, for playing with other people, for the friends beside you, maybe old friends, maybe new friends.
Sometimes the blend is right. It is the right afternoon. It is busy, but not too busy. The pub is not too loud. You are with people you love, and it is hitting.
I can become suffused with gratitude and love for the music and the people.
You realise you are playing with a friend, and you have been through the wars together. You have been to terrible music sessions and great music sessions. You have been to weddings and funerals. You have babysat each other’s kids.
It feels very rich.
So if someone comes along with a very unconsonant approach, it feels like, for a moment, you were tapped into not just what it felt like when you first played sessions, but what it has led to.
And then everything is fleeting. Everything is ephemeral.
The only thing constant is change.
Why people do not say when the music is brilliant
Shannon:
You said nobody wants to hear, “You are no good.”
Of course.
But not fitting into a session is not necessarily about not being good.
Also, in a music session, nobody really says, “My gosh, you are playing great. This is a wonderful session.”
You do not talk about it unless it needs to be addressed.
Tara:
That is so true.
Even when it is brilliant, you never say, “That is because you are brilliant.”
Shannon:
And if somebody does say that to you, you think, “Uh-oh, what am I doing wrong?”
Tara:
I wonder if that comes from our nuances as social beings and how we are brought up. Irish people hate to boast. It was frowned upon when we were growing up. You waited your turn.
Shannon:
I think part of it is age.
I spent a lot of time in Ireland, and I had my musical start in Chicago and live in Boston. These are big Irish music centres with a lot of Irish people.
We do not always have Irish people at our sessions. Sometimes there is no Irish ancestry at all among the practitioners. But there is still a big connection to Ireland and Irish culture.
I can relate to the lack of wanting to boast.
If anything goes well, I might be the first to say something against myself. Is it superstition? Is it humility, which is another form of vanity?
I think it is a different time too. Some younger musicians coming up now seem more comfortable saying, “That was a great tune,” or implying that it was sounding good.
And people now play lots of kinds of music. You can play Irish music and also be an old-time player or a classical player. There is not the same stigma.
When we were learning, I felt the need to be single-focused. It was embarrassing to admit I had other interests. Also, being an American, I wanted to keep showing up and show that this was my priority.
Gratitude in the middle of a tune
Tara:
I love what you are saying about gratitude.
When I am in a session and I feel, “This is beautiful,” that moment helps. You take a second in the middle of playing and think, “I am so lucky.”
I experienced that at the weekend. I had not been out for maybe five or six weeks. Sometimes I hold back for a while and then I go.
Shannon:
That is great that it worked out.
Tara:
It is like not wanting to play the same tune the same way all the time. You try to play with slightly different people too.
That is harder when you are not travelling around as much as you used to.
Shannon:
There is an interesting perspective from the person who goes to lots of different sessions versus the person who leads the same session every week with a friend for years.
There is comfort in the latter.
If you are in the same spot with your friend every week, you can afford to have a few stinker session crashers because there is always next week.
Tara:
Whereas if you are only hitting a session once, if you are in Sligo tonight or Belfast tomorrow, you want it to be the best.
Shannon:
I do too.
Going over more frequently gives that comfort: there is always next time.
Wanting to include people while still playing the harder tunes
Shannon:
One of the last times I was in Ireland, I played in wonderful sessions. I encountered people from the virtual guided session my husband Matt and I run.
That guided session was intended for people learning and building repertoire. We played not too fast, using session standards and also introducing newer tunes. We still do it once a month.
There are seasoned players who join us on YouTube too. Maybe they are working on a second instrument, or they just want to play standards more slowly at home.
But here I was in Ireland, playing in a few sessions. The music was great. It was fast, loud and full of unusual tunes.
I was excited. Then at the end of the session, I met people from the virtual guided session community and thought, “I wish I had known. I would have encouraged them to sit in. I would have played slower or more common tunes.”
I felt bad. Why did I have to go in there and play obscure tunes? Why did I not lean into this lovely community?
It is hard to balance your own desires with other people’s needs.
It was not really my session, so it was not my call. But I could have done one or two sets.
There is no reason you cannot play The Maid Behind the Bar. That is a great tune. Why not go into Joe Cooley’s Reel? Everyone is happy to play that.
There was no reason I had to play an obscure Charlie Lennon three-parter in that moment.
Tara:
That was probably excitement and giddiness. You are allowed.
I do not think you should feel guilty about that. You did not know they were there.
Are we supposed to make all sessions only common tunes? There has to be an outlet for everything. There has to be an outlet for the fancy, complicated tunes too, because that feeds your soul.
You are just as important as the people who are learning.
Shannon:
This is a nice therapy session. Thank you.
Including people in ways other than tunes
Tara:
I interviewed a couple of younger people recently, and it was interesting to find out what they needed.
To them, the most important thing was that they felt included.
I mentioned that to an older musician, and they said, “Yes, that is nice, but does that mean we should only ever play those tunes? Is the incentive to learn more tunes gone?”
There are two sides to everything.
Shannon:
There are other ways to involve people.
If you are sitting around a table and one person only knows five tunes all afternoon, that person can still be included in the conversation between tunes.
You can make eye contact. When people are buying rounds, include that person.
That goes a long way.
You can also take the person aside and say, “You are welcome to record a set of tunes and learn it at home. Come back next week and we will play them together.”
Over time, if that person keeps showing up, they will have more repertoire and they will know the way you play the tunes. They will fit in more musically.
If you are ignored, and you do not know the tunes, that is hard. Even if you do know the tunes but nobody engages with you, you will still feel outside.
Tara:
That is really nice. There are other ways of getting people engaged.
I like the idea of saying, “If you want to record that, feel free, and we will play it next week.”
Shannon:
Another option is saying, “How about a few of the family favourites?” That gives them a chance to start tunes they know.
But the reality is that this can make people nervous. They can feel on display and not play their best.
Instead of saying, “What have you got?” you might say, “Do you know The Maid Behind the Bar? I love that tune. I have not played it in a while. Is there one you know that we could go into after it?”
You can give them a bit of context and support instead of putting them on the spot.
Supporting someone to start tunes
Tara:
Starting tunes can put pressure on people.
If I ask someone, “Do you want to start a tune?” I do not expect them to lead the whole thing. I would expect that we would all support them and play along.
Shannon:
In general, unless someone is dead confident, newer practitioners often do not feel ready for that.
A good strategy is to decide what you are going to play before you play it.
You can say, “How about these two tunes? Do you like those? Great.”
Then give them a second. If they pick up the fiddle, do not jump straight in. Wait. Give them a moment to get ready.
Maybe talk for a second. “Nice weather out, isn’t it? I think it is going to rain later.”
Then come back to the tunes.
It can take some of the scare away, and it can guarantee that people will be with you for the change.
Tara:
For me, if I am giddy and excited about a session, I do not always want to know what the next tune is. I like to go with the flow.
Shannon:
Agreed.
When you are playing with friends or in a session where the rhythm is already established, it can be shorthand. You can say, “Let’s go,” and see where it goes.
Recording tunes in a session
Tara:
You mentioned recording. What is your opinion on recording? There are a lot of different opinions. Some people say absolutely no recording, and others say if you are learning, of course you can record.
Shannon:
If you are learning, of course you can record. That is how I learned.
But I did not always record. It did not always feel appropriate.
Sometimes I remember sitting in a session and hearing a lovely tune. I would try to remember it. Then when the set stopped, I would go to the loo and write the first notes on toilet paper.
Tara:
Wow. Have you kept any?
Shannon:
I do not think they survived.
Often, though, it did feel okay to record. But I would not put the tape recorder under someone’s face.
I would usually ask and then put it off to the side.
Sometimes that was to my detriment. I have cassette tapes where I can tell it was a great session, but the recorder was so far from the fiddle player.
But you get the gist.
I think that etiquette has endured. Ideally, you would not put your phone under someone’s nose or hold it in their face while they are playing.
Ideally, you would not pull it out the moment you sit down.
Play along for a bit. Have some conversation. Then say, “There are a lot of tunes here I do not know. Do you mind if I grab a couple on the phone so I can learn them and come back someday to play them with you?”
That is cumbersome, but it shows that you are not going to post it everywhere. You are using it to learn.
Or you might say, “This sounds great. Can I take a video and post it on Facebook?”
I would rather someone asked.
Also, if you are trying to learn tunes, the best strategy is not to record three hours of music. Pick a set or two. Then learn those properly.
If you get two sets of tunes from a session, that is a lot. You can really ingest them, put them into your rotation and keep the association with that night.
You might think, “I got that tune from that great session in the back room of The Burren.”
You will not have those associations if you just have a phone full of random sessions.
You go for the music and stay for the people
Tara:
I remember The Burren. I used to call it the best weekend of my life. I think you were there.
We got a lift with a truck driver. Myself and Trisha Hutton, a fiddle player from Carlow, arrived over and had no way back. We were in a dance show somewhere, and Boston was only two and a half hours away, so we thought, “Let’s hire a car.”
We could not, because I think we were under twenty-five. So the truck driver said he would drive us.
It was great fun.
Shannon:
You went for the music. That was the centre of the activity. And the music is sweet and fun to play.
Tara:
It was the people as well.
Shannon:
You go for the music and stay for the people.
The music gives you something to do. Otherwise, you might not get everybody in one place at one time.
But if you have this event, it gives you a reason to come together.
Tara:
I want to give back now. I love the session, and I have had so many good sessions. I want to share that it can be amazing when everyone is going well.
Shannon:
You said earlier that you want to find out what everyone there is looking for and help them feel comfortable and realise their hopes. That is very gracious.
Not every session host will feel that way.
Some session hosts might think, “If they are here, they will figure it out or they will not. It is not my problem. It is a gig.”
Money, paid sessions and commodifying the music
Tara:
I think money plays a different role.
I like sessions that are not for money too. Just whoever is around. Someone has visitors who are musicians, and you say, “Go and have a tune.”
Shannon:
That is interesting, and it is not new.
Since the recording industry started documenting cultural music in the 1920s in New York, or even Patsy Touhey making wax cylinders as a side hustle, commodifying Irish music has made it more about audience and practitioner instead of everyone in the room being part of it.
That is a regrettable divide.
It has also raised the standard. The kids today play circles around those of us who learned twenty-five years ago, because recording and access have raised the ceiling.
Progress comes, but things get lost along the way.
Commodifying a session, commodifying a music party, where you have a couple of paid ringers, can distort the experience.
A lot of us who sometimes get paid to play sessions are still looking for it to be that casual, informal, maybe unpaid experience too.
Tara:
I do get paid sometimes. But it is nice to have the balance of not getting paid too.
I have also started doing tour guiding in the last year, so I am trying to work with that balance. You are not trying to commodify it, but you are giving people information and sometimes the experience too.
Shannon:
If it were not organised, curated or commodified, people would not come on those tours. They would not meet these musicians face to face and be part of the cultural experience.
They might just look at a travel guide and wonder whether to go to Galway, Belfast or Cork.
A curated trip around the west of Ireland, guided by someone visiting her favourite players and haunts, could be a very rich experience.
Books and resources for understanding sessions
Tara:
You had an interview recently with Barry Foy, the author of Field Guide to the Irish Music Session.
Shannon:
Yes. It was so much fun, and the book is delightful, hilarious and spot on.
It is in the service of spelling things out, especially for people coming from outside Ireland who might not pick up on social cues.
That said, I have been in Ireland with people not picking up on cues, and in Boston where there was more cop-on. So it is really about exposure to the session paradigm.
But Barry’s little book is delightful, and our chat was hilarious and insightful.
Tara:
There are very few books and resources on session etiquette. I might eventually write a book on it.
Shannon:
I wish you would. That would be wonderful.
Books that take you into the music and into the social setting can help.
Last Night’s Fun is probably the quintessential read about Irish music and what it means to Irish musicians.
There is also a really great book about learning Irish fiddle and coaching basketball, Rus Bradburd’s Paddy on the Hardwood.
It is a beautiful read about a man who went to Tralee to coach basketball and ended up taking fiddle lessons. It is about what the music means in the context of living in Ireland and meeting people socially.
Tara:
Any other resources?
Shannon:
If you are getting into Irish music now, you have what we did not have back in the day: YouTube and the internet.
You have access to ITMA material. There are historical reads, listens and incredible resources.
That said, it is not always well curated or vetted. Sometimes you get bad information or incorrect information. Sometimes you get a real tradition bearer with a hugely important message, but the sound quality is terrible. Then you get someone with great production values who does not know what she is talking about.
It can be overwhelming.
If you start with Barry Foy’s session guide, Last Night’s Fun, and books that give context, you begin to learn how to look past poor production or shiny production and find the content.
Tara:
What advice would you give to a newcomer?
Shannon:
This is really fun music to play.
The tunes are beautiful, and the rhythms are fun. You can have a great time learning the tunes at home by yourself, or with a friend, and getting together to play.
Then you can extend the party by going into places where more people play these tunes.
It can be wonderful, and it can be overwhelming.
To get into playing this music with other people, you have to learn a lot of vocabulary. You have to learn a lot of tunes to participate.
But even if you only know six tunes, and learning with a buddy can help you learn faster and have more fun, it is never too early to sit near a session.
Have a meal, a cup of tea or a beer on the outside of the session. Listen. Try to be part of the conversation.
You might say, “We are learning these tunes. I cannot wait until we can come in.”
You will most certainly be invited in.
Then, when you have the chance to sit there with your instrument, even if you only know three tunes over the whole afternoon or evening, you are still part of the session.
Be part of the conversation between the tunes. Maybe record one or two tunes. Say, “Could I record a couple to learn at home so next time I come in, I can try those tunes with you?”
Rinse and repeat.
Pretty soon you will be part of the social community, and you will have more legs for your session machine.
It is as simple as gradually becoming part of the social community while gradually doing the work at home to build your repertoire and ability.
It is a lot of material to learn, but the only way to learn is to start.
You are most welcome, no matter your level, especially if you have a good joke to share.
Tara:
Have you any good jokes to share?
Shannon:
My son just told me one.
A man says to Susan, “I just bought a talking chicken. It is amazing. Listen to this. How much does a cup of coffee cost?”
The chicken says, “Buck, buck.”
Then the man says, “Okay, chicken, what do you call a male deer?”
The chicken says, “Buck.”
Susan says, “This is ridiculous. That is not a talking chicken. It is just going buck, buck, buck.”
The man says, “No, it gets much better.”
And the chicken says, “Oh Susan, it gets much better.”
Tara:
That is brilliant.
My only family-friendly joke is: what happened at the carrot’s funeral?
There was a big turnip.
Advice for experienced musicians
Tara:
What advice would you give to experienced or advanced musicians about session etiquette?
Shannon:
Public sessions are a crapshoot. Commodified sessions have their own pressures.
If you are paid to lead, host or curate a session, or even if you are not paid but you are trying to lead a nice experience for the most number of people, you have the opportunity, and maybe the responsibility, to serve the people in the room.
That includes the people listening.
Think of curating a nice social event as best you can.
You do not need to perform to people, but you can take in their presence. Take in the “hup” from the bar. Let it be part of the experience.
We are all experiencing this together. We are all practitioners of this music together.
Maybe lean across the table and have a tiny bit of conversation with the person on the outside who is not as involved. Try to bring her in a little.
Maybe ask the person far to the right, “Do you have a set of tunes?” That can bring the circle in, instead of only the two people closest to each other leading everything.
Reach across the circle a bit. It can bring the whole thing together.
From there, if there are problems, maybe you have increased the connection between people.
Tara:
Maybe the problems resolve because people feel included, and that is what they needed.
Shannon:
Maybe.
And maybe it will be a great night of music and a great hang. Maybe it will not.
What can I add to this session?
Tara:
When I walk into a session, I ask myself, “Am I going to contribute to this session?”
If the answer is no, my contribution might be better at the bar, giving those whoops.
If there are already ten great musicians there, I am probably not going to add to that. If there are maybe six, then maybe I can.
I am not going to sit in at the back, because then I am not getting the connection.
Shannon:
And if somebody is bursting to play tunes, and there are already ten people there, and they want to sit in anyway, go for it.
But I like the question, “What can I add?”
It is a thoughtful way to ask, “How can I be connected with this? How can I help this session go where it is trying to go?”
It is a better question than only thinking about what you want.
Tara:
Yes. What can the session give to me versus what can I give to the session.
The opening sentence for giving feedback
Tara:
The question from the previous guest is: if you were to approach a player in a session about maybe playing too loudly, or something else they are doing that is not for the greater good, what would your opening sentence be?
Shannon:
“Hey, I love your shirt.”
Tara:
That is so good.
Shannon:
Positive first. Then slip it in.
Tara:
And what would your closing sentence be?
Shannon:
“That is a great shirt, by the way.”
Or: “There is a really wonderful session down the road around this same time every week.”
Tara:
Shannon, thank you so much.
Shannon:
You are so welcome. This was lovely. Keep me posted on the project. Good luck with it.
This conversation with Shannon Heaton keeps returning to one central idea: an Irish music session is not a concert. It is a social gathering built around music.
That makes the etiquette more subtle.
The point is not simply to play well. The point is to notice the room, the people, the mood, the music, and what the session is trying to become.
Shannon’s perspective is especially useful because she holds two truths together. The music matters deeply. But the people matter too.
A disruptive player can damage a rare and beautiful musical moment. But careless criticism can damage a person.
That is why feedback in a session needs tact, timing and kindness. Sometimes the right thing is to say something. Sometimes the right thing is to pull someone aside. Sometimes the right thing is to include someone in conversation, suggest a tune they know, invite them to record a set, or help them build their way into the music over time.
For newcomers, Shannon’s advice is simple: start learning tunes, sit near the session, listen, talk to people, record a small number of tunes respectfully, and come back.
For experienced musicians, the question is just as simple: what can I add?
https://shannonheatonmusic.com/
https://www.youtube.com/c/shannonheatonmusic
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Session Etiquette Questionnaire
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